By Design — Just Show Up Is Incomplete Advice

Hi Reader,

The mantra to "just show up" is stopping you from achieving your goals. Hear me out.

"Just show up" might be among the most incomplete pieces of advice out there, because what happens when you just can't?

I've been there many times, and maybe you have. That moment when it's time to do the thing you said you would do, but motivation has left the chat, energy is low, and it's just you, your goal, and the only advice anyone ever gives: "just show up."

Sometimes, for me, showing up is just impossible.

Most people assume the answer is more discipline.

Another day has gone by, and somehow, you just couldn't show up, and you're hoping tomorrow will be better. You're hoping that either that motivation will return or you'll muster the strength to just show up. And on and on it goes, till it's been a week and you haven't done the thing.

This was me and my 10,000-step goal. I searched high and low for the will to show up whenever motivation went quiet, until my design brain kicked in.

The issue: It was never a lack of willpower. I had designed my goal around a version of myself that didn't exist. I was expecting future-me to be endlessly motivated. It was a failure to honor the conditions I needed to actually do the thing.

So instead of demanding more discipline, I changed the design.

The issue was never a lack of willpower. It was a failure to honor the conditions I needed to do the thing.

Enter Didi, my neighbor, and at the time, an acquaintance. I decided to intentionally seek her out through a mutual friend. Turns out she was also on a steps mission and open to a walking buddy. One deliberate move, and I had exactly what I needed to do the thing.

The idea of a buddy is not novel, so that's not really what this post is about. This post is about knowing what you need to change in your system to achieve the goal you want.

One deliberate decision about my system changed everything.

Suddenly, my plan wasn't built on hope. It was built on conditions that supported success. A sustainable design.

The breakthrough wasn't accountability, even though I now had that. The breakthrough was recognizing what I needed in order to succeed, and then designing for it.

Two things happened with Didi. Well, three.

• We held each other accountable to show up.
• We went farther each time, egging each other on.
• And somewhere along the way, I gained a friend. Someone who shared my energy, my ambition, and my commitment to becoming more than yesterday's version of herself.

I didn't just design my way to 10,000 steps. I designed my way to a meaningful relationship.

Had I kept hoping that one day I'd just "show up," my walking shoes would probably still be brand new.

"Just show up" tells you what to do but says nothing about what you need in order to do it.

Before you demand more willpower from yourself, try:

• What conditions would make this easier?
• What is stopping me from showing up?
• What support, environment, person, tool, or system am I missing?
• How could I redesign this to make success more likely?

Most of the time, the problem isn't effort.

It's design.

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What is one area of your life you're doggedly bulldozing with willpower rather than tackling with the ease of good design?

Intentionally,

Dami